Club G40 Forum
Club G40 => General Chat => Topic started by: supercharged spaniel on August 03, 2009, 07:36:58 pm
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Thought i'd start a totally random discussion about women...mainly because i was on club polo and of all the lads on there i see no hint or even glimer of men talking about women/birds or any banter for that matter. I know we all pretty much talk about them amoungst our friends, infact women and cars are my only topics of dicussion really..
I love them..in fact i like them more than cars..just
whats your views..
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as my mate would say
wank wank money in the bank poke poke then you will go broke ;D
come to think about it if the moneys in the bank then i can use it on my g40
fuck it i rather poke poke then go broke :D
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you only go broke when you go with a lass if you just shag them then there is no need to spend money on them!
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Love it...no need for any spendage...make sure she's on the pill lol as my mates would say.
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I love a woman with peachy ass and hips, just so you get a good hold of them when doing the business. a well rounded set of breasts are essential also.
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Any stories from anyone? There must be? Anyone been caught out on fakebook or anything?
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Facebook storking all women do it Beware. Ever came home one night and somehow for no apparent reason got in to an argument as you have done something but no idea what it is. Well there is a good chance that some attractive woman has wrote on you’re wall, not only that but she called you hun or babe then left more than one kiss.
Stay single it’s easier lmao
Oh and nice thread Dan
Oh and i speak from experience :P
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no comment. Anyone could be viewing this thread
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^^^ someone is guilty of something ;D
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hence why my GF, doesn't have access to my facebook or the forums I go to.
I am not up to anything, but women can seem to get pissed off at the drop of a hat for no reason, as the other guy says too many xx or a informal hello.
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they are a weird breed that come in all shapes and sizes.
i got caught looking at my birds work mate. she's a good face, massive melons,and nice little ass. the gf asked if i fancied her? so i replied if i wasn't going with you i would ask her out. didn't go down well, so then i tried to explain that there is alway's going to be someone that you would like to sleep with.
she didn't speak to me for a couple of days, but it was cool for me, no moaning for 2 days(boost).
her workmate was round at weekend with a seriously low top, at times i got the flash of nipple. :P :P now that wasn't good had to try keep my tongue in my head for 24hrs.
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Facebook is easily solved... Turn the wall off... Lol then there's no chance of someone leaving a message that might cause upset. Birds are great at causing shit over nothing lol or what we think is nothing
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But thats the whole point isnt it, what we thing is nothing turns out to be a really big deal to them!
Im quite lucky in that I can read mygirlfriend like an open book and can usually shut up in time before i get myself in trouble lol
Wish Id discovered cars before women to be fair, least then id have some money to spend on some TCAs right about now!
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they are a weird breed that come in all shapes and sizes.
i got caught looking at my birds work mate. she's a good face, massive melons,and nice little ass. the gf asked if i fancied her? so i replied if i wasn't going with you i would ask her out. didn't go down well, so then i tried to explain that there is alway's going to be someone that you would like to sleep with.
she didn't speak to me for a couple of days, but it was cool for me, no moaning for 2 days(boost).
her workmate was round at weekend with a seriously low top, at times i got the flash of nipple. :P :P now that wasn't good had to try keep my tongue in my head for 24hrs.
the question is did you gf tell her friend that you fancied her, so shes going to show more flesh as to tease you
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Monday my gf was all happyiness and light, it was like I was going out with someone else. I knew there as fat chance of that happening two day sin a row., but was not expecting the full turn around. when I saw her she was in a right mood and it had nothing to do with me, just work and the yard she goes riding at and some of the games there, for the next two hours she decided everything I did was wrong for the next 2 hours.
she calmed down after that.
I think as guys we dont do that, we just sulk and go back into ourselves and go quiet
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School boy error actually telling her that you fancied her lol but all good. Could potentially be an easy sleaze lol if she finds out you fancy her lol. My mate snaked this bird when on a break from his missus and after much pestering to wether he'd slept with someone he actually admitted he had! The amount if shit he got off us was pretty immense, in fact it still gets brought up now! Lol
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no comment. Anyone could be viewing this thread
so dont say anything you wouldnt want everyone to read... holly goes on a lot of the forums I do, I think i've turned her into an internet car geek like me!
So you mean keep schtum about your other gf then Rae?
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Maybe we should come up with a less obvious forum names then no woman can track us down. Mind you that does imply that you have something to hide. Just a thought!!
Those of you who have a pic of yourself in the avatar have no chance though, mentioning no names ;D
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good come back and cover you arse just in case.
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I love how some people are shitting already. I can't wait till this weekend I've got some right stories lol. Not worth mentioning on here lol
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My GF is on holiday for week no stress bliss ;D
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i have loads of stories! most too long to write out on here,
i went on a lads holliday to lanzarote 3 year ago after just breaking up with my nutter of an ex (an i mean nuts she loved the taste of pain killers everytime we fell out) so i went over there with intetions of riding as many sluts as possible first night i was there we all hit the drink very hard and i pulled this lasso from exeter was knocking all sorts of shapes out of her. as i was giving her it from behind (hard and fast obviously) i turned round and there was a dirty spic wanking away watching us! so i went to pull out and run after him but she reached round grabbed me saying dont stop. so i bashed on!
plenty more where that come from,
someone elses turn now lol.
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thats unreal?! pounding her piss flaps in and then seeing that?!!!
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i love sheep
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i turned round and there was a dirty spic wanking away watching us! so i went to pull out and run after him
What exactly were you proposing to do to this guy? Bearing in mind you both have your pants round your ankles?
I think that lass you were porking had the right idea.
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I would of pulled out and spunked in his eyes... Wooo take that!!
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id of put my used johnny in his mouth.
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He'd probably like that! Lol so... Out of interest... Once you'd shot your load (and you instantly hated and regretted the bird/pig you'd pulled) what did he and you do? Shake hands and walk out? Lol
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A bit like when the trawl the net for ages to find the best wank worthy material then as soon as you've finished you instantly close everything and regret the time you've wasted and the things you could of done in that time lol.
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actually as soon as i seen him and went to run at him he ran off, i told her i was flying back home the nexty day lol.
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That's mint... I bet he was fantising over being your tag partener... In fact I was! I was the man wanking in the corner... Once I'd finished I dried off on one of your socks.. Didn't you see me sniffing her knickers whilst wanking? Lol
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cant of been her knickers as they where shoved in her mouth! must of been mine.
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Bwhaaa! They did smell like cheese had you not washed your cock end all week? No worries at the time I just thought it was her smelly clout and all the beastings shed got during her holiday...men emptying their sacks into her holes all week...
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yep thats right, she was a classy bird....
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im with pete on this one lol
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Beasts...
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:D :D :D
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Well of course lol. No more stories?
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Alright, I got one which isn't that dirty, but full of lols. OK, So i'm 19, I had this long term GF for a while, she was pretty crazy and demanding but I put up with it (for some reason) Anyways, it started going down hill and she decided to end it - I wasn't happy with that, so i fight to get her back, get her back and like a few weeks later. she ends it. So I'm like 'ffs' So I keep turning up and ploughing her from time to time; was pretty filth (G40 is a great car to have when your running to get the gash! lol) and i bacily decided it wasn't good for us to be even see each other anymore, so i cut her off. I knew she was sleeping with (quite a few) other people at the time. I moved on as did she. Met a new bird, really great - good looking, easy to get a long with (loves my polo!) and one day I get this txt. says: 'Justin, we really need to talk about something' Now im thinking 'fuck, she IS pregnant.'
I phone her up and she is crying, all like 'just wanted to hear from you that your with someone else now...'
I was all like, wtf. you ended it six months ago and moved on before me and at that time in a pretty grim place!
anyway later on a few txts came from and were sent to her. they ended with this one:
'tell me if your ever single again cause i still plan to marry you. Have a nice life.'
Yes. Cause marriage is a good way to lure a 19 year old in. Nut. Case.
Got some filth stories too, will share them at some point! lol.
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Birds love marriage. She sounds quite fucked up. Can you not tell her what she wants to hear? And then have your way with her, and your newer bird too lol?! Obviously use a condom with the mental one cos shell pull the age old trick of pretending she's pregnant so you shit bricks for a while and give her attention. Lol
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Would be lols tbh, BUT couldn't do it to the new one, she is too good! haha. even watches the f1 with me!
Yeah she was pretty nuts, she has the old 'oh shit i forgot to take my pill' a lot, conveniently at the same time as i'd blow my load! haha.
She did say to me she was craving kids too, she can fuck off now though, isnt worth the shit I got.
p.s The reason there is no woman banter on club polo is cause they are all too busy taking pics of their 'slammage' and polishing their cars and not their wood!
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Ha bird banter is the best... Proper bonding agent for most blokes. Loving some of the stories that are coming out here. I say get them implanted or injected and then they can't forget... Bring on the make pill? Is that ever becoming mainstream?
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Some good banter in this thread!
My GF assumed we were gonna finish uni and get a mortgage like straight away, I was like, what the fuck!? She got all upset until I explained to her how mortgages work and u only get one based on what you earn etc. She soon got the idea but was ever so sensitive about it for a while.
Facebook. Well, facebook, girlfriends and mates who are girls just don't mix. I was on holiday last month and was gonna meet my mate (who's a female) there who I haven't seeen for a few years, she wrote on my wall something like " yeah we'll have to meet up on the campsite, i'll give you a text" Girlfriend interpreted that as me getting my leg over with my mate and caused a load of pointless hassle... Trying to work out what goes on in a birds head is an impossible task!
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" Why bother with women when you can get the real thing.".... Motto of the Honda Owners Club.
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right ill try and put this in writing,
i was out on the piss one night had a good night went the pizza spot and seen this lasso sat on the window ledge outside, i looked at her and realised it was a lass my mate had been telling me about (fantastic blow job!) so i thought job on!
sat next to her turned charm upto max!!!! telling her i was going to a party (really just stopping at my mate house) an asking if she wanted to come to it. she said no but we could always go back to her mates house. i thought get on! get sucked off maybe hit her then do one!
so anyway we got in a taxi went to a cash point (she needed money to pay for the taxi i said i was skint and didnt have my bank card) got to her mates house and we where locked out so had to wait for her mate to come home. 10 mins and a fantastic blow job later her mate comes, she walks passed me giving me a funny look but i thought nothing of it. we get in the house and they go in the living room an i could hear her mate kicking off then she storms out towards me saying get out!!!! i told her to fuck off but she keeps shouting so i thought fuck this and left! about 4 in the morning and i had a 10 mile walk home.
now its 2 weekends later and i see her out in town an she smiles at me am thinkin whats going on an leave it. then an hour or so later i go for a piss an she was stood outside the toilet and says hello to me and then explains that the reason she kicked me out was cos she fancies me and didnt want her mate with me. so me being the way i am thought hand on a min i can use this so i said what about me and you go back to your house tonight she says yea that sounds great! so we get a taxi up to hers walk thru the door i take my trainers and jeans off (next to front door) and bash on we go in her room i get her stripped off give her twat a good rub get her as wet as poss without spitting on it then say i need the toilet (which is down stairs) so i go down have a shit in the sink put the plug in and turn on the taps put my cloths on open front door and run down the road leaving the front door wide open while not really being able to run for laughing and ringing my mate for a lift.
dont think i even wrote that much in school!
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Lance you are a fucking animal, proper funny!!!
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Lance. You just earnt yourself a medal!
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hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!
Karma goes up 1 from me!
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thanks ha ha i have more stories lol.
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Thats fucking awesome..if you see her again you should see if you can work your charm, explain all and see if you can fuck her again...the fact that you fucked her off so bad and then rattle her again would be an amazing feat...there are girls that are gulable enough to believe any shit you make up and take you back again for another ride lol
My mate was talking to this scrawny ginger thing on msn and asked me to join the convo...so i did... turned out she was the filthiest horriblest ginger slut I've spoke to. Loved spunk in every hole and off anyone, no condom the lot. So we tortured her for a bit suggesting what we could do to her etc. Next day am at work and my mate texts me...'I'm meeting her, wish me luck' anyways this is about 2pm and i was thinking i dunno where he is gonna take her at this time?
I finish work and i get a phone call.
'dan i've got to come round..I've something to show you'
Nice one..anyways about 6pm he arrives..Phone in hand...Only to show me a video of him rattling her against a wire fence from behind whislt she holds on...the wire fence being the local commuters 'metro' line around my local area (sunderland/newcastle)...What's classic is for very video he makes he always turns the camera and does a quick signiture smile for the lads...
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It's all the best of stuff so far but try this one.
The late ex. (not latex) and I are out in a mini for a run in the country. For some insane reason she's driving and we're doing about fifty. In the back seat is one small recently acquired pup which is making all the wrong noises. "You'd better pull over before he pukes on the seat" says I . She does. Fifty miles an hour into the ditch with rocks trees and all sorts of shit coming thick and fast, along with concussion. When I recover my senses things aren't looking good for the mini. One wheel is a hundred yards back down the road and in between there's a lot of oil, driveshaft and other costly looking things. One side of the car is fucked in completely and it's "all your fault", not even a tear, "your fault". " You told me to pull over" and she's right I did. I just kind of thought that under the circumstances she might have .. you know..
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Lance thats fucking awesome !!!
Karma +1 for making me laugh so much.
One of my mates, Az, mum works with disabled teenagers of differing types. One evening she bought home a hot, blind blonde from work. She was proper hot, but blind! (didnt think they ever came in good looking models). Me and my mate couldnt belive it as normally it was only dribblers that we ever saw. Suddenly i found myself wanting to stay for the evenng meal which i did. After eating we all sat down and started drinking a little. Az's mum popped out to the shop for a few bits and left us in charge of the blonde. As soon as she was out the door we took her upstairs to Az's room and double teamed her. She absolutely fucking loved it! Just got her back downstairs before Az's mum got back too!! We went up the pud after that to celebrate and tell the lads. Got a pint each from the land lord to say well done too! Good times
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^ what the fucking fuck!!! Bwhaaaa so you raped a blind girl?! Ha ha that is possibly one of the best scores ever. How did you convince her? Did you just say 'get yourself upstairs we are going to pound you'? I would of spunked all over her hair and face... 'here's a bit of optical treatment' lol
Some amazing stories coming out the wood work here get in there lads!! Shitting in sinks, fucked against railings, raping blind teens, etc... Keep em coming!
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How did you convince her?
probably by just saying "a lot of people say I am the spitting image of brad pit". ;D
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I've got a mate who only goes for the ugliest of pigs. He got caught snaking an 'asda ace' cleaner in the toilets at work. He always goes on about shagging birds on their periods and disabled girls with missing legs etc. He loves proper fat sweaty birds with hairy chins etc. Sounds unbelievable but really he loves it and even if you tell him a mint story he goes off and has a wank lol he is proper mental. He only rattles them if they let him use no condom and in his words..'then is shove it as far as I can get it then spuuunk right up them, then get off on the fact that when she's at home with her husband later my spunk is dribbling out on her knickers' lol.
He told me a story of how his mate invited a bird round. She was a known slut so his mate was demolishing her in the bedroom. My mate went to the bathroom and found she's left her knickers. So he started sniffing them and wanking lol... When he spunked he wiped his cock with them and left them. His mate then came looking for him... Saying he needed to ride her to... So after a brief recharge he went and pounded her too lol.
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Good point... Hence why she was raped not seduced lol
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How did you convince her?
probably by just saying "a lot of people say I am the spitting image of brad pit". ;D
lol, but how would she know what Brad Pitt looked like? :p
well she doesn't need to, just that all her girl friends say that he looks good.
then she can't argue when she says "are you sure brad pitt has a beer gut?"
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Definately no raping, she was well up for it! Just got a bit touchy feely with her and she was well flirty so one thing led to another and before we knew it she asked when we were going to show her the bed room. Due to the fact that she was blind we realised she didnt wanna look at the decore like most teasing cunts... The best comment was made by Az as we led her up the stairs - 'you really dont wanna see my bedroom its a right mess!'
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...like her face afterwards...
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...like her face afterwards...
LMFAOROFLHAJEHGJAPOTATOFELLONMYSHOE!!!!!
Best. Comment. Ever.